Monday, 14 May 2012

Jubilee Frenzee


Fig. 1
It was the Belligerently Optimistic Flatmate's birthday recently. Off galavanting in Dusseldorf, I could not be there, so I've been trying to make up for it with the provision of treats. 

Happily, this doubles as an opportunity to cram the Pad with Jubilee baubles. I've been cultivating a bit of a habit. This means that if I see something with the Queen's face or a Union Jack on, or (even better) some combination of the two, I buy it. Anyone in the UK at the moment will recognise that, with three weeks until Flotilla Day, this could lead to personal financial catastrophe. Shops are rammed with the stuff.

Fig. 2
And it started so well. Union Jack-flavoured Body Wash [Fig. 2] and Jubilee Marmite [Fig. 3] are - I'm sure you'll agree - perfectly useful items. Not to mention that there's a recession on: it's our duty to spend ourselves to safety. But how much shortbread can a small household of two realistically consume? Even if it does come in a tin with Grenadier Guards [Fig. 1] emblazoned upon it.


BOF, as you might expect, is very much on board with the flag-fest. He's spent the past three weeks trying to instigate compulsory bunting on his desk at work, to no avail. It's almost as if his colleagues are becoming hostile to the whole event.


Such domestic support makes my themed oniomania even harder to restrain. It's also vicarious. We don't need to actually own the tat to take pleasure in it. Much better to force it on other people.

Fig. 3
It goes like this:
BOF: Do you know I saw the most amazing Union Jack luggage the other day.
KITC: You should probably get it.
BOF: Yes! No. I'm saving for school fees.
KITC: (downcast) OK.
BOF: Is there anyone we know with a birthday coming up?
KITC: No.
BOF: My mum could probably do with some more Union Jack crockery - let's get that.
KITC: And we'll need another Grenadier Guard tin to put it in. 
BOF: Good thinking.

It was as I found myself, all Jubilee-Special-Carrie-Mathisonbeing gently removed from the picnic section in Waitrose by a concerned BOF, grasping for 'Royal' Moet as I passed, that I realised it's becoming a problem. There is just not enough money in the world or space in the Pad for this.

1 comment:

  1. It has been quite a while since a dedicated service which is specialized in German Translation has emerged. There might be a couple of services which offers German Translation in their local areas, however it is of a huge demand for students and business corporations to translate their documents and text every day. So I took the responsibility and gathered a group of small professionals to start an online international German translation service, it was not long ago and not to my surprise it just went immense and now we have 1000s of native translators and different part of the world helping us achieve our business goal.
    If you or any of your family and friends are looking for German translation you can direct them to our websitehttp://professionalgermantranslation.com we charge only per-word and have hundred percent money back guarantee, we redirect all our clients to international and the most secure payment system “2checkout” secure panel to complete their payments, which boost the security and our client's credentials are much safer than before or any other websites accepting payments on their own panels and risks the security of their customers.

    ReplyDelete